On Rules of Civility: A Short Review

                  In honor of my forthcoming summer in the Big Apple, I have reread (listened to) Amor Towles's “Rules of Civility.” It is a charming book about a woman reminiscing on her young adult life in New York during the late 1930s. So, put on Autumn in New York by Billie Holiday and enjoy where this takes us.

                  During my reread, I was struck by a line our protagonist, Ms. Content, thought toward the end of the book. By this time in the story, the climactic reveal had already been shown, talked about, and dissected. Thus, Ms. Content was in the fallout of her revelation. She was at a party of one of her working-class friends who was about to get hitched. Ms. Content had started as someone similar, but throughout the book had dated and befriended many wealthier and more socially connected people (those WASPs). While at the party, she runs into someone who is  a friend of a friend of a friend. During their interaction, she learns that Henry, the brother of her former love interest, has rejoined the military. Reflecting on this new information, Ms. Content thinks about how all the people of valor she has come to know have all gone away.

                  This line about valor struck me due to my own enjoyment of the study of honor, and the character analysis this brings within the novel. She lists her friends Eve and Wallace as the others with Valor, along with Henry. These characters differ from those Ms. Content has come to distrust, Tinker and Ms. Grandyn.

                  Eve serves as the initial foil to Ms. Content. She is more outgoing than Ms. Content’s bookish hobbies. Both are young twenty-somethings or are trying to figure out what to do with their lives in the Big Apple. Early in the book, they are in a car wreck with Tinker. Eve receives a very noticeable scar on her face, and in response, Tinker takes her in to atone for the sin of the wreck. Eventually, they date, he proposes, and she leaves. However, instead of going home to Indiana, she stays on the train to end up in LA. Ms. Content and Eve were very close, and Ms. Content always respected Eve’s gusto and ability to say what she thinks. Even when proposed to, Eve says what she thinks, no. Then Tinker runs around unsure of what to do on the boat, while Eve sips champagne. Eve only wants to have a good time and does not want the life that comes with marrying into Tinker’s social class.  Rather than kowtowing to the social pressures to become Mrs. Tinker, Eve, true to herself, leaves, even though her life would have been bought and paid for by Tinker. (The recurring theme for all the characters). While the morality of Eve can be questioned, it’s this stake of authenticity for herself that makes Ms. Content put her on the list of valor.

                  Wallace was the more traditional show of valor. He inherited his family’s successful newspaper company when he was too young and built it into something even bigger. However, during this period he did not have his fun and learning young twenties experience. His characterization is one of the most impressive in the cast. Even though he and his family have more money than he knows what to do with, he does not want the spotlight or any of the trappings of wealth. He learns everyone’s name, when most of the other wealthy people we see do not know their employees’ names, and he cares about them. We learn he cares about his family, and most of all, is an outdoorsman. His sense of honor is very strong, and knowing he needs to go out and do something less, he falls into the trappings of his wealth. He absconds to Spain to fight for the republicans during their civil war. He has made sure his family is okay, and not having a wife or kids of his own, he makes a decision based on his values. He eventually dies while fighting in Spain. His valor is in acting on his beliefs and not succumbing to his wealth buying him. In the end, he was just a good guy.

                  Henry and Ms. Content only had two interactions. One early and one late in the book, but he puts into perspective what the everyday man would think. He was a struggling artist who was almost as in love with the struggle as the art. However, it was his strong sense of honor that also put him on Ms. Content’s list. During their first interaction, Henry makes a remark about a woman controlling his Tinker’s, his brother's, life. Ms. Content thinks this is about her friend Eve, whom she defends. However, she was very wrong. Tinker’s life had been bought and paid for by Ms. Grandyn; more on that later. Henry was very against Tinker living his life this way. Their family had fallen from grace as their father spent all the family’s money, and Henry described Tinker as spending his whole life trying to rejoin the upper class, whereas Henry, more or less, accepted his station. In their second meeting, after Ms. Content learned of Tinker’s lifestyle source, Henry describes all the good qualities of Tinker. Ms. Content is rightly confused at the adulation of his brother, even though he despises his life. This further shows the theme of authenticity, which Ms. Content is learning to value. Henry wants his brother to throw off the wealthy thumb he is stuck under and be himself. When Ms. Content learns of his rejoining the military, we learned that it is because he had a windfall from paintings sold. Not his own paintings, but those owned by Ms. Grandyn, which Tinker gave to him. Thus, not wanting to be in any way associated with her money, he threw a party with her money and left. Again, his authenticity is that he will not live his life as being bought and paid for by someone else. He will not be a slave to the mighty dollar. Thus, in sticking to his guns, he is on Ms. Content’s list of valor.

                  Now we get to the foils of these people of valor, Tinker and Ms. Grandyn. Tinker’s life was bought and paid for by Ms. Grandyn. She would pay him for late-night rendezvous, thus giving him the lifestyle he craved, and she was his only source of income. This can make sense from his end. He grew up with a certain standard of living, which he wanted to keep, along with the friends he had made in the process. However, it is not life he worked to get out from under her thumb. However, when Ms. Content finds out about this, she is beside herself with betrayal. She does not necessarily care about the relationship; it is more about the inauthenticity of Tinker. He portrayed himself as the most eligible bachelor who lived by a code. He had lived by George Washington’s “Rules of Civility” axioms. Ms. Content comes to the conclusion that this was not him wanting to be a better version of himself, but he was using the axioms as a manual to keep his secret and climb the social ladder. Thus, not being himself. As mentioned, Henry misses the authentic Tinker. Therefore, we can presume that in the process of keeping/gaining his lifestyle, he lost a bit of himself. Later, Ms. Content is told to reframe her position on Tinker, that at the very least, he was trying to make something of himself, and she should hear him out. She finds him, reconciles, and forgives him. They parted after, with him promising to keep true to himself.

In the opening prologue, 20-30 years later, we see two candid photos of Tinker. One during his occupation with Ms. Grandyn and one post in the same year. The latter photo shows a brighter and happier Tinker, even though he looks as though hard times are second nature to him, showing that he was able to find his authentic self again and not sell out.

Ms. Grandyn, on the other hand, is authentically herself, however, her worldview does not match with Ms. Content. Ms. Grandyn shows how the trappings of wealth warp someone. She thinks of anything as something she can buy if she wants it. This is highlighted when she tells Ms. Content that the problem with others is that they have more needs than wants, rather than more wants than needs. Her life has become what all three of Ms. Content’s valorous did not want. Ruled by money and what it can do for her. She even goes as far as to try convincing Ms. Content to take Tinker’s spot with a kiss. While Ms. Content encounters her fair share of the wealthy and privileged, Ms. Grandyn is really the only one who seems to abuse her privileges. However, we later learn Ms. Grandyn recommended Ms. Content for her job, thus it is more complicated than we may think. She is not portrayed as an antagonist, but almost as the protagonist of her own story. One where she is trying to make a life of her own, when women had only gotten the vote less than a decade prior, and a society ruled by the WASPy man.

In the epilogue, one of the main themes is how the choices we make affect our lives for possibly longer than we think. This differs from Amor Towles' other book, “A Gentleman in Moscow,” of which I could write a novella in analysis, but it discusses a lot more about how chance comes into play in shaping our lives. “Rules of Civility” is about how in our early adult life we have much time for indecision, until we do not. Yet, every now and then, we get an opportunity to make a decision that can change everything for years to come. Ms. Content chose her friends and job to later live an Upper East Side NYC life with her husband. The ending, reminiscing about those we counted as our closest friends when we were younger, now only appear in our lives sparingly. A new circle of close friends seems to be created with the passing of the former ones. Tinker chose not to pursue that life anymore and became a dockworker. Those we choose to associate with and spend time with affect our lives in a multitude of ways. We may try to force a certain life like Tinker and do questionable things to be able to achieve it, or work toward it like Ms. Content and achieve it by being our authentic self.

Thus, the story reminds us, every choice we make has consequences. Whether social or in our soul, the repercussions, good or bad, may not be seen until some later date. Therefore, how we decide those few chances of real free will is of the utmost importance. In the context of Ms. Content’s story, these choices need to be made by our best selves with valor, honor, and authenticity, even if they are not what others would think is the “right” choice.

-Grant A. Braught